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But I was pretty sure that I could have at least broken 2% nationwide. Heck, I didn't break 1% in my home state of Alabama. It was a disappointment, and embarrassing after all my local campaigning, to walk to the voting booth...Ready to mark an "X" by my name. Only to see it not listed. Did someone forget
to put Jack Meoff on the ballot? Who is in charge of putting names on
ballots?? I was darn furious...So I went over to one of the young ladies manning the front table. "I don't see my name on the ballot!" I said with an edge of frustration in my voice. She paused before she answered. I knew that something was up. "Well sir, you could always place your name in "Other"." Like that little conciliation prize was going to do my name justice! I deserved to be on the ballot, to get my views heard - about letting the mentally challenged drive their own damn short buses! "I demand you put my name on the ballot forms!" She knew I was about to make a scene so that's when she decided to deal. "Alright sir, I'll start writing your name on all the forms. Starting with your own form. What's your name?" "Jack Meoff" "Sir, please, after all this fuss. What's your name" "Mam, you are the one yanking my chain...Jack Meoff! What is everyone's problem with my name!? JACK MEOFF!" She tried quieting me down, and eventually I got over something that's been bothering me for years. People always are snickering at my name! Jack!? Is that so weird? There was JACK Kennedy, and Andrew JACKson... Meoff? Is that some dirty word? Meoff, it's Czech! My mother's name was Gertrude, but everyone called her Get - No one ever bothered her about the family name. She never defamed it, and I'm not about to let people start walking over the Meoff name now. Sorry, I get so worked up about that issue. Anyways, back in my voting booth. I proudly marked my name Jack Meoff, and turned it in. I held a rally in my neighborhood that night. Talking about how people with dirty names like Al Gore (Violence!) And George W. Bush (Ahem!?) should not be in office. It's not working out this way. So I'm sadly pulling out my campaign sign from my lawn (JACK MEOFF - "ONE MAN'S PULL FOR AMERICA!" I thought it was good too) and thinking about what went wrong with my campaign... Maybe I should demand a recount.
- Remember, Make sure you think about me, Jack Meoff, Come Election Day 2005.
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Now,
I admit that this was my first run at a political office. And I admit
that trying to run for President was maybe biting a mouthful of something that
I couldn't swallow.